Resident Evil The Running Man
by Liquid
Summary: See what happens when I put the RE characters into The Running Man....I'm in there too.
1. Framed, and jailed

In the year 20XXsomethingorotherwhogivesafuck the whole world went to shit.  
Radio, television, inflata-dates, are all censored by the evil government.  
A sadistic and quazi-evil show called The Running Man has become the most popular show in history next to Gilligan's Island, and people pay good money to see people get ripped apart on pay-per-view.  
But when BOW's are not enough to surpress the peoples cries for freedom, world class ass kickings become nessessary.......  
***  
The chopper clumsly rocked side to side as Chris Redfield tried to fly it.  
Nickoli, Mikhail, and Carlos were holding on for dear life, and puking all over eachother.  
"Damn it, Redfield"! Nickoli yelled. "Let someone else fly this thing"!  
"I'm getting the hang of it". Chris replied.  
He suddenly turned hard left, making Nickoli lose his balance, and fly screaming out the door.  
"Oops". Chris said. "My bad".  
"Mikhail, Carlos". The radio said. "Get that fool out of the pilot's seat before he kills all of you".  
They then grabbed Chris, and dragged him into the back.  
Chris then swung at Mikhail, but missed, and fell out of the chopper.  
His underwear got caught on the bottom of the chopper, giving him the biggest wedggie in history, and making him scream like a girl.  
Carlos was laughing so hard that he lost his balance, and fell on the controls, launching a nuke into a nearby city, destroying it.  
"What the hell just happened"?! The radio yelled.  
"Um......". Carlos said. "Redfield did it".  
He and Mikhail then dragged Chris back into the chopper, and knocked him out with the butt of the rifle.  
***  
One week later at some God awful toxic waste dump/prison.  
Chris, Barry, and Leon stepped out of the truck, and into the wastelands.  
"This blows". Leon said.  
They were then greeted by an extreamly fucked up looking old man. Every other tooth was missing, his hair was falling out, and his skin was rotting off.  
"Welcome". He said. "I'm Bill".  
"What the fuck happened to you"? Barry asked.  
"I didn't always look like this". "I used to be a pretty boy". "It's from being in this place".  
He then coughed a tooth into his hand.  
"There goes another one". Bill said as he tossed it away.  
"How long have you been here"? Chris asked.  
"About 3 days".  
He then walked away.  
"We got to get out of here". Barry said.  
"We can't". Leon said. "These collars will blow our heads off if we try to get out".  
"What if we could get that computer that the guards use to run everything"?  
"Ok". Chris said. "Barry and I will create a diversion while you steal the computer and turn off the gate".  
"What kind of diversion"?  
"Hit me".  
"Ok".  
Barry then uppercutted Chris, lifting him off the ground. Then he began kicking him in the ribs.  
The guards and inmates then formed a circle around them, letting Leon get the computer.  
He then ran outside, but one of the guards saw him.  
"Prison break"! The guard yelled as he began firing.  
"What do we do now"? Chris asked.  
"You distract them". Barry said. "I'll help Leon".  
"How do I distract them"?  
Barry then tossed Chris into one of the guards, knocking them both down.  
"Assulting a guard, huh"? Hunk asked. "Let's kick his lilly ass"!  
Outside Leon was trying to work the computer.  
"How's it going"? Barry asked.  
"I'm not sure". Leon replied. "There's so many areas to choose from, and if I touch the wrong spot it will be all over".  
Barry then looked at the screen, and smacked him in the back of the head.  
"That's mine sweeper, you nerf"! Barry yelled. "Open the damn gate"!  
"Oh, there's the gate controls". Leon said.  
"Get it open". "I'm gonna check on Chris".  
Barry then ran back inside, and saw Chris tied to a support beam.  
The guards were taking turns kicking him in the balls, and laughing at how he cried like a girl.  
Barry then picked up a machien gun, and mowed them down.  
He then freed Chris, and they ran back outside just as Leon opened the gate.  
They then ran like bitches, as more guards were comming. 


	2. The Underground, and the host

After 3 days of running, and another day of riding in the back of a truck, they made it to a place where they would be safe.  
A hippy commune, where Dr. Birkin could remove thier collars.  
"So is this Dr. Birkin capable of taking these collars off without killing us"? Chris asked.  
Suddenly there was an explosoin from the back room, and Dr. Birkin came out covered with blood.  
"Well". He said. "Now I know what not to do".  
He soon removed thier collars.  
"Now I know where I've seen you". Dr. Birkin said. "You blew up Raccoon City, you psyco bastard, you". "Let's kill him".  
"No". Leon said. "He helped us escape".  
"No, he didn't". Barry said. "He just got his ass kicked".  
"That was what distracted the guards".  
"Let's kill him anyways".  
"He's seen too much already". Dr. Birkin said.  
"Too much"? Chris asked. "All I see is a bunch of crack heads who think that they can beat the government".  
"Maybe he can join us". Leon said.  
"No thanks". "My sister is going to get me out of the city, and then I'm just gonna kick back and relax".  
"Then I guess that this is goodbye". Barry said.  
Chris then climbed into the back of a truck, and it headed towards the city.  
***  
Meanwhile, at an extreamly large building with the Umbrella logo on it.  
A limo pulled up to the main door, and was instantly mobbed by cheering fans.  
Then the door opened, and out stepped Liquid, the host of The Running Man.  
He then ran like a bitch to escape the fans, and released the hounds as soon as he was safe inside the building.  
"God damn morons". He said as he walked towards the elevators.  
He was then almost tripped by a janitor's mop, so he took it, and broke it over the janitor's head.  
"Asshole". He said as he got into the elevator.  
He soon arrived on the top floor, and then it was time to take charge of this little operation.  
"Brad". He said. "Get me some lunitic for my show". "Alexia, be in my office in 10 minutes....and wear something trashy".  
"Liquid". Brad said. "The government's been calling every 10 minutes about the next show".  
"Just give them an evasive answer, tell them to go fuck themselves".  
Liquid then walked into his office, and closed the door. 


	3. Jill, and the next contestant

Chris walked down the hall of the ghetto trash building, towards Claire's apartment.  
He walked up to the correct door, and knocked.  
"Claire"? He asked.  
There was no answer.  
He then typed in the security code, and walked in.  
"Claire"? He asked again.  
Then he slipped on the floor wax, and knocked himself out.  
***  
"These choices suck". Liquid said as he looked at the canidates for the next show.  
"It's all that we could do on such short notice". Brad replied.  
"Short notice my ass".  
Liquid then saw something on one of the monitors.  
"Hello". He said. "Brad, pipe that feed in here".  
Brad pushed a switch, and all of the screens showed a cartoon man having sex with a kangaroo.  
Liquid then smacked him in the back of the head.  
"No, retard". Liquid said. "That one".  
"Oops". Brad said. "My bad".  
He then pushed another button, and the monitor showed Chris running across a field.  
"Perfect". He said. "Who is he"?  
"That's Chris Redfield". Brad replied.  
"The moron who destroyed Raccoon City"?  
"The same".  
"Get him for me".  
"He's still at large".  
"Not for long". "Put every cop in the country on high alert". "I just found the next contestant".  
He then did a long evil laugh, and lightning flashed followed by dramatic music.  
***  
Jill Valentine walked into her apartment, and closed the door.  
"Lights". She said.  
Nothing happened.  
"Damn it". She said. "This apartment sucks".  
She then turned on the TV, and started doing sit-up's while she watched.  
"Are you ready for pain"? Wesker said on the tv. "Are you ready for suffering"? "If the answer is yes, then you're ready for Captain Wesker's workout".  
Wesker then walked over to someone who was exercising.  
"Do you feel the pain"? Wesker asked.  
"Not yet". He replied.  
Wesker then folded him in half, making him scream like a girl.  
Suddenly a hand was clamped over Jill's mouth.  
"Don't make a sound". Chris said.  
She then brought her leg up, and kicked him in the head.  
"You messed with the wrong woman". She said.  
Then she got up, and spin kicked him into the wall. She then grabbed him by the shirt collar, and tossed him across the room.  
"I'm gonna beat you into unconsiousness". She said.  
Then she started punching him in the face, but he managed to grab a vase, and break it over her head, knocking her out.  
"Holy shit". He said. 


	4. Captured, and blackmailed

2 hours later Jill woke up tied to the bed.  
"Who are you"? Chris asked. "A friend of Claire's"?  
"What are you talking about"? She asked.  
"This is her apartment".  
"I just moved in last month". "They told me that the last tenent was taken away for re-education".  
"Well, that puts a damper on my plans"......"I'll just have to get out of here on my own".  
"And just how the fuck do you plan on doing that"?  
"Simple". "I'll take your travel pass, book a flight to Hawaii, and get away".  
"You'd be caught in seconds".  
"You're comming with me".  
"Oh, yeah"? "Why should I"?  
"Because I took naked pictures of you while you were unconsious, and if you don't, I'll give them to everyone that I know".  
"You're lying".  
"Ok".  
He then took the polorides out of his pocket.  
"Hawaii, huh"? Jill asked.  
***  
Later, at the airport.  
Chris and Jill walked past the guards with no trouble at all as they headed towards the terminal.  
It was thanks to his stupid looking tourist hat that no one recognised him.  
"You will never get away with this". Jill said. "You're outnumbered, unarmed, outclassed, outsmarted, and you couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag". "Face it, you're screwed".  
"You have a very negitive attitude". Chris replied. "Remember, I could give thoes pictures to anyone".  
They were at the terminal, and almost to the gate, when Jill decided that she couldn't take one more second with this moron.  
She then punched him in the balls.  
"Help"! She yelled. "It's Chris Redfield"!  
The guards then started comming, and Chris bolted out the door, and started running across the parking lot.  
Soon a van full of cops was on both sides of him, with nets at the ready.  
"Closer"! The guard yelled.  
They then fired thier nets at the same time, but missed, and got eachother instead, causing the vans to crash.  
"Yeah"! Chris yelled as he continued running.  
It was then that he ran into a wall at full speed, and everything went black.  
***  
The next thing he knew, Chris was in a room that was pitch black.  
Then he had to blink alot as a light came on, and he saw someone thru the security glass.  
"Morning, sunshine". Liquid said. "This is one hell of a pickle that you have gotten yourself into".  
"I know you". Chris said. "You're Fidel Castro"!  
"No". "I'm the host of The Running Man".  
"Oh, right". "The asshole from tv".  
"You know, I've had my eye on you for quite some time now".  
"Bullshit".  
"I'm serious".  
"Prove it".  
"When you think that no one is looking, you like to try on women's clothes".  
"You can't prove a thing"!  
"Look, Chris". "I brought you here for a busness matter".  
"What's that"?  
"I want you to appear on Tuesday's broadcast of The Running Man".  
"Eat shit and die".  
"It's either that or you can go back to prison".  
"Fine, prison it is".  
"Look at that monitor behind you".  
The monitor showed a cartoon man having sex with a grizzly bear.  
"Goddamn it, Brad"! Liquid yelled. "The other one"!  
The monitor then showed Leon and Barry in a cell.  
"Leon and Barry"? Chris asked. "What are you going to do with them"?  
"You see, Chris". "I have a contract with the government". "They supply the cons, and I put them on the air".  
"You fiend"!  
"Either you go on The Running Man or they will". 


	5. Lies, surprises, and the first hunter

Jill was watching tv, when the news came on.  
"Chris Redfield a.k.a. the Raccoon City Ripper, was brought to justice early this morning while trying to board an aircraft". The newscaster said. "His hostage, Jill Valentine, was not harmed". "But others, like the 3 guards that he shot at point blank range, were not so lucky".  
"Bullshit". Jill said. "He was unarmed".  
***  
The lights came on as everything was being preped for tonights broadcast, and people were already being seated in the audience.  
The theme music soon started playing, and the cheers started as Liquid came out.  
"It's showtime"! He yelled. "How's everyone doing tonight"?  
The cheers continued.  
"We have a great show planned tonight". He continued. "So without further adue, let's meet our first contestant". "Watch that screen".  
The giant screen then came on, and showed the chopper flying towards Raccoon city.  
It then made it look like Chris tossed Nikoli from the chopper, beat up the others, and nuked the city.  
"That's right". Liquid said. "It's Chris Redfield"!  
The audience cheered even louder as Chris was brought out.  
"Now, Chris could have gone back to prison". Liquid continued. "He could have paid his debt to society in the traditional way, and ended up with a 400 pound fiancia named Duke". "But Chris volenteered for the running man for a chance at our great prizes, like a trial by jury, a suspended sentence, or even a lifetime supply of k-y jelly for thoes lonely nights".  
They then put Chris into the rocket sled that would take him into the game zone, and locked him down.  
"Remember last years winners"? He continued. "Rebecca, Brad, and Steve". "At this moment they are rotting in the game....er....basking in the Maui sun".  
The rocket sled began powering up.  
"Now". Liquid said. "I have a little surprise for Chris".  
A curtain then dropped, revieling Leon and Barry also in rocket sleds.  
"You pig fucker"! Chris yelled. "You lied to me"!  
"Yeah, so"? Liquid asked.  
"I'm comming back for you".  
"I doubt that". "GO"!  
The sleds then shot down towards the game zone.  
***  
Jill Valentine walked down the hall of the broadcast building.  
She was headed towards the records office in hopes of proving Chris innocent.  
It was easy to get past security, since all the guards were glued to the tv, so she was soon in the records room.  
After a little searching, she found what she was looking for: The unedited Raccoon City Video.  
She was putting everything else back, when the guard grabbed her, and knocked her out.  
***  
"Now". Liquid said. "It's time to meet our first hunter of the evening".  
The crowd then fell silent.  
"NOSFERATU"! Liquid yelled.  
The crowd then began cheering, as the creature came out.  
It then used the tentacle on it's back as a hockey stick, and sliced a giant gong in half.  
"Now". Liquid continued. "Let's go live to the game zone"!  
The cheers continued as the screen showed the rocket sleds come to a stop at the very beginning of the game zone. 


	6. Frost, and the mystery contestant

The big screen showed the inside of the hunter's locker room, and Wesker was there.  
  
"You know, Liquid". Wesker said. "There's alot of excitement here in the locker room". "The hunters know that anything can happen out there in the game zone". "I remember one time when I cornered one of the runners, and made them do the funky chicken, and then you won't believe what happened".  
  
"Sorry, Captain". Liquid interupted. "But I've just recieved word that the runners have entered the first death area".  
  
"Well, whoopty fucking do".  
  
"Let's go there live"!  
  
***  
  
Chris, Leon, and Barry ran inside what looked like an old warehouse.  
  
"Damn". Barry said.  
  
"What"? Leon asked.  
  
"It's cold".  
  
Lights then came on, and they saw that they were on a hockey rink. The floors were covered with ice, and everything else was covered with frost.  
  
"Hey, frost"! Chris yelled.  
  
He then tried to lick some of it, but got his toung stuck.  
  
"Mhgududjksks"! He yelled.  
  
"You dumbass". Leon said.  
  
"Helf ne"!  
  
A buzzer then sounded, and Nosferatu came out of nowhere.  
  
He then body checked Leon and Barry, and his spike just barely missed Chris's head.  
  
"Let's get out of here"! Leon yelled.  
  
He and Barry then started running.  
  
"Whaoutme"! Chris yelled as he tried to free himself.  
  
Nosferatu then knocked Barry over, swept the feet out from under Leon, and shoved him into a goal that closed around him.  
  
"Get me out of here"! Leon yelled.  
  
Barry thne tried to get to him, but Nosferatu smacked him in the head, knocking him down.  
  
He was about to kill Barry, when Chris pushed off of the wall, and stumbled into him, making Nosferatu impail himself in his own spike.  
  
It was over.  
  
"Thanks". Barry said.  
  
"No problem". Chris said as they got up. "Let's get out of here".  
  
They then started to leave.  
  
"Hey"! Leon yelled. "What about me"?!  
  
"Oh, sorry". Barry said as they freed him.  
  
They then left the hockey rink.  
  
***  
  
"How the fuck did that idiot manage to do that"? Liquid asked.  
  
The crowd was silent.  
  
"What an incredible battle"! Liquid said. "So far we've had shocks, surprizes, and.......let's have one more"! "Please help me welcome tonight's surprize runner"! "Jill Valentine"!  
  
The crowd then cheered as Jill beat the shit out of the guards who tried to drag her out.  
  
She then charged at Liquid, but he moved out of the way, causing her to fall into the rocket sled.  
  
The clamps then locked.  
  
"Look how eger she is to join the game"! Liquid said.  
  
"I'm going to reach down your throat, grab your ass, and turn you inside out"! Jill yelled.  
  
"Bye, bye baby". Liquid said.  
  
The rocket sled started towards the game zone.  
  
"Things should be heating up"! Liquid continued. "We'll be back after these important messages". 


	7. The claw, and the spark

They were running across the wastelands, when Leon suddenly stopped.  
  
"What's wrong"? Barry asked.  
  
He then made a bitter-beer-face, and let the nastyest god awful fart ever recorded in history.  
  
"Feel better"? Chris asked.  
  
"Yeah". He replied. "Let's go".  
  
They ran for a second, and Leon stopped again.  
  
"Oh, hell". Barry said. "Not again".  
  
"Look at that". Leon said.  
  
It was a satilight dish.  
  
"It's a relay system for the government satilight". Leon continued.  
  
"So what"? Barry asked.  
  
"It's pointing into the middle of the zone and not up". "That means that the linking computer is here".  
  
"No wonder Dr. Birkin's people couldn't find it, no one ever comes out here".  
  
"What are you guys talking about"? Chris asked.  
  
"If we can get the linking code, Dr. Birkin can jam the entire network".  
  
"Whatever".  
  
They then headed towards the middle of the zone.  
  
***  
  
"Welcome back". Liquid said. "It's been one hell of a show so far, but get ready to meet our next two hunters".  
  
The crowd fell silent.  
  
"Tyrant and Chief Iorns"! Liquid yelled.  
  
The crowd exploded as the two hunters came out.  
  
Tyrant used his claw to slice thru a 3 foot thick slab of steel, and Chief Iorns used his Spark Shot to electrocute one of the guards.  
  
***  
  
They were still running, when they heard movement.  
  
So they hid behind a large piece of metal, and waited for the person to get close.  
  
Chris then jumped out, and was suddenly knocked on his ass.  
  
"Jill"? He asked. "What the fuck are you doing here"?  
  
"I auta kick your lilly ass right here". She replied.  
  
"You two know eachother"? Leon asked.  
  
"She's the one who turned me in at the airport". Chris said.  
  
Suddenly a car flew over the hill, and they had to run for cover as Chief Iorns fired at them.  
  
They then split up. Chris went with Barry, and Jill went with Leon.  
  
***  
  
Chris and Barry ran down a small hill, and ducked inside a busted up building.  
  
"We should be safe in here". Chris said.  
  
"What the fuck did you just say"? Barry asked.  
  
"We should be safe in here".  
  
"Right, untill some idiot says we should be safe in here". "It's the ultimate jinx".  
  
"Look, nothing's going to happen".  
  
Suddenly the lights came on.  
  
"You were saying"? Barry asked.  
  
Barry was then sliced in half by Tyrant's claw.  
  
"Holy dog shit"! Chris yelled as he ran in the other direction.  
  
***  
  
Leon and Jill ran into a building that was in slightly better shape.  
  
"Over there". Leon said.  
  
They then ran over to a bunch of lockers. Leon then broke one open, and there was a working computer terminal inside.  
  
"Jackpot". He said as he turned it on. "Now I'll be able to get the uplink code".  
  
He then spent 3 minutes pushing buttons.  
  
"How's it comming"? Jill asked.  
  
"Not very good". He replied. "I have to sort the numbers into sequence, or I won't have any way to put things in order".  
  
Jill then looked at the screen, and slapped him in the back of the head.  
  
"That's solitare, you nerf". She said. "Just get the damn code so that we can get out of here".  
  
30 seconds later he had it.  
  
"Ok". He said. "Remember these numbers".  
  
"Alright". She replied.  
  
"The code is.....1-2-3-4-5".  
  
"What"?  
  
"1-2-3-4-5".  
  
There was then a sound, and Leon was covered with electricity.  
  
He screamed, and was dead.  
  
Chief Iorns then walked towards Jill. 


	8. Death match, and the deal

Chris managed to move just in time, as Tyrant's claw tore into the wall.  
  
It then continuedto slash everything as Chris desperatly tried to get away.  
  
"How can I fight it"?! He yelled.  
  
It took all of his speed, strengh, and dumb luck to keep dodging the claw.  
  
***  
  
The crowd was freaking out.  
  
"Look at him run"! Liquid yelled. "This could be the end"!  
  
***  
  
Chris then decided that he had enough.  
  
He suddenly turned towards Tyrant, and punched it in the face.  
  
It then stopped moving for a second as if trying to decide what to do.  
  
Then it backhanded him, making him fly thru the air, and take out the main support beam on the way down.  
  
The whole roof the caved in on Tyrant, and it was over.  
  
Chris then heard a scream, and he ran towards it.  
  
***  
  
When Chris got outside, he saw Jill choking out Chief Iorns.  
  
He then decided to help. So he picked up a rock, and tossed it at the Chief.  
  
But his aim was off, and the rock hit Jill in the head, knocking her out.  
  
"You're a fucking marksman, you know that"? Chief Iorns asked.  
  
He then fired the Spark Shot at Chris, and Chris ran like a girl.  
  
The Chief then got into his car, and floored it.  
  
Chief Iorns quickly gained on Chris, but his tires were 'Firestone Tires', so they blew out, causing the car to flip over.  
  
Chief Iorns was out, so Chris ran over to check on Jill, who once again knocked him on his ass for his stupidity.  
  
***  
  
"What the fuck is going on here"? Liquid asked. "This isn't posible".  
  
The crowd didn't know what to think.  
  
"This is incredible"! Liquid said. "Nosferatu gone, Tyrant gone, and Chief Iorns down but not out"! "Don't go away, because we have alot more in store for you when we return after these important messages".  
  
***  
  
Chris and Jill were walking when a giant screen came on, showing Liquid.  
  
"Hi, Chris". He said.  
  
"What the fuck do you want"? Chris asked.  
  
"I want to make you a deal".  
  
"What kind of deal"?  
  
"Beachfront condo, unlimited credit, and a lifetime supply of cheese-whiz".  
  
"Sounds good".  
  
"It's the standard contract for a hunter". "Just say the word and I'll make it happen". "Your luck can't hold out forever, and I'd hate to see such good talent go to waste".  
  
"Ok, I'm in".  
  
"WHAT"?! Jill yelled. "You can't do that"!  
  
"Yes, I can". "Give me one good reason not to".  
  
"Because I'll beat you into unconsiousness, and then hit you 3 more times just to make sure".  
  
"Sorry, Liquid". "Can't do it".  
  
"You pussy". Liquid said.  
  
The screen then went blank.  
  
***  
  
Inside the hunters locker room, the intercom went off.  
  
"Alexia Ashford to wardrobe". It said. "Repeat, Alexia Ashford to wardrobe". 


	9. Fire, and losers

The crowd cheered as Alexia came out.  
  
She then used the fire from her hands to barbeque a guard.  
  
"Let's hear it for Alexia Ashford"! Liquid yelled.  
  
The crowd then went wild.  
  
***  
  
Chris and Jill were still running thru the wastelands.  
  
"This blows". Jill said. "I'm stuck on this evil gameshow, people are trying to kill me, and I might die alone with you". "We should have taken the trip to Hawaii".  
  
"Hey". Chris said. "I had the hat for it but you fucked it up".  
  
"Well, I thought that you were going to kill me".  
  
"Bulshit". "You've kicked my ass atleast 5 times since we met, so don't you dare tell me that you were in fear for your life".  
  
She then bitch slapped him.  
  
"Bitch". She said. "Mouth off again, and I'll pull your heart out thru your ass, and feed it to you".  
  
"Ok, I'll be quiet".  
  
They then saw someone standing on top of an old factory.  
  
"What the hell is that"? Jill asked.  
  
They then ducked just in time to dodge a ball of fire.  
  
"Jesus Christ"! Jill yelled.  
  
They then ran as Alexia jumped down from the building.  
  
"Run little rabbits"! She yelled as she followed them into the factory. "Run"!  
  
Jill then picked up a large barrel, and tossed it at her, striking her in the haed, and knocking her down.  
  
She then picked up another one, but it was destroyed by a fireball.  
  
Chris then turned to run, but tripped over his own two feet, and caused a large drum of gasoline to fall over, and flow towards Alexia.  
  
Then when Alexia got another fireball ready, it touched the gas, and she was blown thru a wall by the enormous explosion.  
  
"Split up"! Jill yelled.  
  
They then ran in diffrent directions as Alexia got up.  
  
***  
  
"Finally I'm free of that moron". Jill whispered as she ran up some stepps.  
  
She then slowed her pace, and crept down a hall towards what looked like an old locker room.  
  
Inside she found 3 bodies that had been barbequed.  
  
"Brad". She said as she read the first one's name tape. "Rebecca".  
  
"Steve". Alexia said as she walked into the locker room.  
  
"But they won last year".  
  
"No....they lost".  
  
Alexia then got another fireball ready.  
  
That's when Chris leaped onto her back, making it missfire, and strike an old gas line.  
  
Jill then ran out of the room, and Alexia tossed Chris in the same direction.  
  
The room then filled with gas, and it all exploded when Alexia tried to make another fireball.  
  
Alexia was dead.  
  
***  
  
The crowd was silent as they saw Alexia's ashes blow away.  
  
"Wasn't that awesome"?! Liquid said. "This is truly a show to remember"! "We'll be back after these important messages".  
  
***  
  
Inside the hunter's locker room, the intercom once again went off.  
  
"Captain Wesker to wardrobe". It said. "Captain Wesker to wardrobe on the double". 


	10. Resignation, and the people's network

Chris and Jill were once again running across the wastelands.  
  
"How do you keep doing that"? Jill asked.  
  
"Do what"? Chris replied.  
  
"You are quite possibly the dumbest man on the face of this earth, yet you have managed to kill the most dangerous things in history".  
  
"Just lucky I guess".  
  
"Well, let's just hope that your luck holds out for the rest of the night".  
  
They were running past an old building, when a cage dropped on them.  
  
"Oh, crackers". Chris said. "We're trapped".  
  
The building then opened, revieling Dr. Birkin and a bunch of the people from the hippy comune.  
  
"Redfield". Dr. Birkin said. "I'm surprised that you were so easily caught".  
  
***  
  
Liquid was sitting in the control room, when Wesker kicked open the doors, and walked in.  
  
"What the hell do you want"? Liquid asked.  
  
"I heard how I was supposed to fight Chris". He replied.  
  
"So"?  
  
"Barbed wire"? "Spiked walls"? "Small enclosed area"? "It's all horse shit"!  
  
"Well, boo-hoo".  
  
"I want a fair fight". "This is a sport of death and glory". "I want it so that we have room to move around, and have to kill eachother with our bare hands".  
  
"And I want employees that do what they're told". "So you can either do what you're told, or you can find a new job".  
  
"Fine".  
  
Wesker then walked out.  
  
"He wasn't supposed to do that". Liquid said. "Anyone got ideas"?  
  
"I do, sir". One of the computer technitions said.  
  
***  
  
"Welcome to the people's network". Dr. Birkin said as they walked in. "We've been waiting for you".  
  
"Well isn't that just peachy". Chris said. "You could have given us a hand".  
  
"We would've been seen, and shut down". "Leon and Barry would have died for nothing".  
  
"1-2-3-4-5". Jill said. "Leon gave me the uplink code".  
  
"Outfuckenstanding"!  
  
"And take this as well".  
  
She then gave him the un-edited tape of the Raccoon City Ripping.  
  
Dr. Birkin then started jumping up and down, and clapping his hands.  
  
"Yes". He said. "Now we can jam the network, raid the set of the running man, broadcast the truth, and live happily ever after"....."This is such a beautiful moment that I think I need a cigerette".  
  
***  
  
"This better work". Liquid said. "Or your testicals will become my personal property".  
  
"It will work". The computer guy replied. "All we do is put in stunt doubles for Redfield and Wesker, and then use my latest CGI technology to make it look like them".  
  
"Get to it". "I have to go back on the air in 5 minutes". 


	11. Deathmatch, and the plan

The crowd cheered as Liquid came back to the set.  
  
"Welcome back". He said. "We've had one hell of a show tonight, huh"?  
  
They cheered again.  
  
"But wait, there's more". He continued. "The runners have entered the final death area....and Captain Wesker has hung up his announcer's mic, and come out of retirement for this battle"!  
  
The crowd then went ballistic.  
  
"Let's go live to the game zone"! Liquid yelled.  
  
***  
  
Jill and Chris then fell into a small arena that was surrounded on all four sides by barbed wire.  
  
Then a wall of spikes came down where the enterence was.  
  
Suddenly Wesker kicked Chris in the head, grabbed Jill by the throat, and lifted her off the ground.  
  
She then kicked him in the balls, making him drop her. Then she punched at him, but he snapped her arm, and put her into a sleeper hold.  
  
Then he broke her neck, lifted her over his head, and tossed her into the barbed wire.  
  
Chris then ran at him at full speed, and drop-kicked him into the wall, impailing him on the spikes.  
  
"Yeah"! Chris yelled. "Who's the man"?  
  
"I am". Wesker said as he pulled himself off the spikes, and his wound's healed.  
  
Chris then kicked at him, but Wesker caught his leg, grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him over his head.  
  
Chris then poked him in the eye, making Wesker lose his grip.  
  
Once on the ground, Chris began driving Wesker back with punches to the jaw.  
  
This lasted about 10 seconds, and then a kick sent Chris thru the air, and he landed 2 inches away from the barbed wire.  
  
Wesker then charged at him, but he moved, causing Wesker to get tangled up in the wire.  
  
"Take that"! Chris yelled as he tried to get back to his feet.  
  
Wesker then ripped the wire to shreads, and walked towards Chris.  
  
"Time to die". Wesker said.  
  
He then rammed into Chris, and pinned him against the wall of spikes, killing him.  
  
***   
  
The crowd was freaking out.  
  
"It's over"! Liquid yelled. "It's all over"! "5 years of retirement, and Wesker still remains undefeated"! "Stay tuned for our after show special"!  
  
***  
  
"Fuck"! Jill yelled.  
  
"What's wrong"? Chris said. "You should be happy, we're offically dead".  
  
"They won't let us out of here alive, you nit wit". "They'll hunt us down like dogs....off camera of course".  
  
"You won't have to worry once we broadcast the truth". Dr. Birkin said. "Help us take out the network, and you can go free".  
  
"Alright". Jill said. "When do we go"?  
  
"You will go imeadiatly, and in 10 minutes I will broadcast the jamming signal".  
  
"So why do we have to go"? "You don't need guns to jam a satilight".  
  
"You do if you want to keep it". "Once they see that something is wrong, they can just switch to another relay system". "The team is going in to stop them".  
  
"Good". Chris said. "I told Liquid that I was comming back"....."I wouldn't want to be a lier".  
  
The team then ran towards the set of the running man, while Dr. Birkin preped the computer systems for transmitting the jamming code. 


	12. Attack, and unexpected help

The team easily snuk past security since everyone was still guued to the tv, so it wasn't very long before they were inside the main network building.  
  
"Let's split up". Jill said. "I'll go this way, and the rest of you go that way towards the main computer room".  
  
"I'm going after Liquid". Chris said.  
  
They then went thier seperate ways.  
  
***  
  
Jill ran down the hallway towards the exit.  
  
"That's right". She said. "You guys go that way, and I'll go home".  
  
She was almost to the door, when she ran into Chief Iorn's huge gut, and fell on her ass.  
  
"That was pretty funny out there in the zone, wasn't it"? He asked as he aimed the Spark Shot. "What's the matter"? "Why aren't you laughing"?  
  
"Because". She said. "It's not going to be very funny how I kill you".  
  
She then kicked the gun out of his hands, and uppercutted him in the face, knocking him down.  
  
Then she got up, and began kicking him in the ribs.  
  
"Did you really think that you could beat me"? Jill asked.  
  
She then picked up the Spark Shot, and fried his ass.  
  
"Drop it"! A guard yelled as he put his gun into the back of her head.  
  
Jill then dropped the gun.  
  
"Good girl". The guard said. "Too bad that you have to die".  
  
The guard suddenly screamed as he was lifted off the ground, and ripped in half.  
  
"Captain Wesker"? Jill asked.  
  
"Where's Chris"? Wesker asked.  
  
"He's going after Liquid". "Why did you help me"?  
  
"I lost my job, so I figured I'd score some points with a hot chick like you".  
  
"Whatever". "Let's just help Chris before he get's himself killed".  
  
They then ran after Chris.  
  
***  
  
In the computer room, enerything was going just swell.  
  
That was until all of the monitors got scrambled.  
  
"What the fuck"? A worker asked. "I'm switching to another relay".  
  
The door was then kicked open, and a bunch of guys with guns ran inside.  
  
"Don't touch that dial". A team member said.  
  
"Great". The worker said. "Another postal worker strike".  
  
***  
  
The last part of the show was going good for Liquid.  
  
Then the large screen came back on.  
  
"Oh, crackers". He said.  
  
The screen then showed the real version of the Raccoon City Ripping, and the crowd soon knew the Chris was innocent. He was incredibly stupid, but still innocent.  
  
The screen then showed what really happened to Brad, Rebecca, and Steve.  
  
"Not good". Liquid said as the crowd began to get hostile. "Um.....we're expieriencing....uh....technical difficulties".  
  
Something then slammed against the other side of the stage door.  
  
"Oh, you have to pull them open". Chris's voice said.  
  
He then opened the door, and everyone gasped as he walked in.  
  
"It's showtime". Chris said. 


	13. The final battle

The crowd was soon gone, leaving Chris alone with Liquid.  
  
"One of us is in big trouble". Chris said as he cocked his gun.  
  
"Chris, look over there"! Liquid yelled.  
  
Chris then looked away for a second, and when he looked back, Liquid was gone.  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid". Chris said to himself.  
  
He then searched for Liquid, and ended up on the stage.  
  
"I know you're here". Chris said.  
  
Liquid suddenly came out of hiding, ninja kicked the gun away, and swept Chris's feet out from under him.  
  
"Yes"Liquid said. "One of us is in very big trouble".  
  
Chris then swung, but Liquid side stepped, and droved his elbow into Chris's back, making him fall to his knees.  
  
He then put Chris into a sleeper hold.  
  
"You can't do anything right, Chris". Liquid said. "Your friends will all die, but you will die first". "Goodbye, Mr. Redfield".  
  
"My name". Chris said. "Is Chris".  
  
He then pushed off of the ground, making them both fly streight up. This caused Liquid to crash into the cieling, freeing Chris as they fell back down.  
  
They then both got up, and Chris did the bullet time kick, sending Liquid into a wall.  
  
Then he ran up to him and started doing the really fast punches that Agent Smith could do.  
  
Once that was over, he grabbed Liquid by the collar, and tossed him across the stage, making him land on the other side of the rocket sled.  
  
Chris then ran over there, but was met with a boot to the face, sending him down.  
  
Liquid then grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him into the wall.  
  
He then began mercilessly beating the dog shit out of Chris.  
  
"I don't know what kind of drugs that you are on". Liquid said as he continued to beat Chris. "But you are too dumb to beat me".  
  
He was about to finish Chris, when Wesker came out of nowhere, grabbed Liquid by the throat, and choke slammed him into the seat of the rocket sled.  
  
The clamps then locked, and it began to power up.  
  
"Oh, poopy". Liquid said.  
  
It then took off like a bat out of hell, and 30 seconds later there was an explosion.  
  
"It's over". Chris said as Jill walked onto the stage.  
  
"Not yet". She said. "There is still one thing that I still have to do".  
  
She then uppercutted Chris, knocking him out.  
  
Then she kissed Wesker, and they walked out of the building.  
  
THE END 


End file.
